Legal Jargon 101

Something I was unaware of before I went to law school were "terms of art" (which, ironically, is a term of art, just so you know) related to the practice of law. Phrases people throw around on television and in everyday life are actually critical words in certain opinions, briefs, and issues. What others also don't realize is that the law assigns a certain meaning to words, regardless of what you intended them to mean. Unfortunately, my first run-in with the phrase "term of art" arose during a class with a teacher who was incoherent, if not completely hilarious, and he swiftly disposed of my questions with mockery and the Socratic method. The rest of my teachers automatically assumed I had wikipedia-ed it (my bad) and never explained it to me. It literally took me months to understand the concept, because EVERYONE ASSUMED WE ALL KNEW. Getting into law school does not mean you automatically gain secret insight to the field of law. So, in order to help all you would-be litigators out there, here's my list of those phrases and my own special meaning to them (I wouldn't suggest you use these in your legal documents with my particular definition assigned, just FYI)....consider them my own "terms of art"(ful creativity)....they may just be torts.

1) Double Jeopardy--when the person on Jeopardy answers the daily double correctly.
2) Negligence--an act committed while wearing sexy lingerie.
3) Consideration--a lovely peppercorn. (Some may get this; others may be used to widgets.)
4) Common law--law that everyone knows.
5) Perpetuity--when a person intentionally stiffs a waiter.
6) Retainer--something lawyers wear to keep their fees straight.
7) Begs the question--when a lawyer raises a rhetorical question in a whiny tone of voice.
8) Juris Doctorate--what pre-law students want to obtain.
9) Juris Doctor--what law students actually get.
10) Tort--arises when someone hits you in the face with a dessert.
11) Starre decisis--that painting by Learned Hand.
12) Fair--what comes to town once a year.
13) Unduly prejudicial--a piece of evidence that calls someone a dirty name based on their race, ethnicity, religious background, gender, or sexual preference.
14) Balancing test--what you do when studying for the Bar. (Ex: should I drink or should I study?)
15) En banc--the cleverly named bank down the street.
16) Voir dire--that expensive designer suit you just bought.
17) Dictum--a dirty name for opposing counsel.
18) Fertile octogenarian--an 80 year old woman with her eggs on ice.
19) Overfishing--when a lawyer demands too much stuff during discovery.
20) Interstate commerce--those damn tollbooths on the highways.

Any additions?