Selasa, 24 Mei 2011

And the Free Kindle Goes to......

A few weeks ago, when my first novel, Death's Dream Kingdom, came out, I said I would give away a free kindle to the person who helped me spread the word about the book's release.   I have to say that one person really went above and beyond to earn the kindle.   Mishy of Haunted Antique Store (http://www.hauntedantiqueshop.blogspot.com/) tweeted, facebooked, put it on her blog, and distributed it in her newsletter to over 3000 people.  Wow.  Thanks Mishy!  The kindle is yours.  I will be emailing you to get your address so I can send it to you!  I appreciate everyone else who participated and thank you all for everything you did to help.  I wish I could give a kindle to all of you!

Happiness and the law...this is possible!

Lawyers are inherently miserable creatures. They bitch and moan about their jobs, their student loans, their clients, and anything else related to work that comes up. A statistic floating around is that lawyers have one of the highest suicide rates among professions, although I was unable to substantiate this rumor. However, I was able to find statistics that show lawyers are 3.6 more likely to be depressed than others. In fact, when I googled "depression by profession" (forgive the rhyme), the top ten searches all pertained to the legal profession. This is an epidemic, and one I think is easily fixed. This is not to say I do not think that depression is a serious mental condition. However, with medicine, changes in lifestyle, and a focus on things that makes a person happy, even lawyers are capable of being happy, well-adjusted, non-depressed people too!

I have had times in my life when I was not happy. I have had times when my life seemed incredibly bleak. Every winter, the dark cold weather makes me want to hibernate. A lot of this depression arose during my time in law school--law students do not necessarily make the best of friends, particularly my cut-throat class. After a while, though, I learned a lot that helped me change my perspective and return to my normal, happy-go-lucky personality. They are as follows:

1) Branch out--when I was surrounded by law students all the time, I was miserable. I spoke about the law all the time. Even when we were discussing other things, law managed to sneak into our conversations. I met some people outside of law school, started balancing my time with both law and non-law people, and was able to finally get that "break" I needed.

2) Take some alone time--I think people all think they need to be surrounded by people at all times, but people should learn how to cope with being by themselves, because we can't always have people around. If you can't stand your own company, why should anyone else? I'm not saying we should isolate ourselves from people intentionally, but there is nothing wrong with having an hour by yourself to think, reflect, and enjoy your own company.

3) Work out--you don't have to be kickboxing to get awesome results. I know fitting in my clothes makes me happier, and any time I'm stressed, heading to the gym helps me cope with this. It's also a great way to meet other people, an amazing feeling to reach personal goals, and gives you a sense of accomplishment in keeping yourself fit and feeling strong. If you can't respect yourself enough to keep yourself healthy and in good physical shape, you're unlikely to have as much confidence as you could have. The endorphins triggered by working out also work like an anti-depressant, which aid in kicking depression's ass.

4) Stop boozing every day--alcoholism is also rampant in the legal profession. Did you know it's a DEPRESSANT? That's why you get sleepy when you booze it up. That's also why you sometimes see those idiot girls sitting on a curb bawling their eyes out while slurring into a phone how much they miss their ex-boyfriends. If you must drink, choose a day a week. Do not drink every day. Do not drink until you black out. Do not make excuses for your drinking every day. Go to a treatment program if you are drinking every day.

5) Start volunteering--as a lawyer, you're recommended to complete 50 hours of pro bono service per year. This translates to ONE HOUR PER WEEK, folks. This is negligible. You have a degree in a field that can literally change someone's life. Use it. If you can't see yourself helping others with your law degree, volunteer as a Big Brother/Sister, head on over to your soup kitchen, write a check to a worthy cause, or just  man a hotline a couple of hours per week. It makes you realize your life isn't that sucky and that others really do have it harder than you. Really. You bitch about sucky clients--there are people that don't have a house. That's not to belittle your problems, but it does help put things into perspective.

6) Listen more--no matter your profession, if you are listening to others and talking less, you will probably be happier. Ask your friends how they are, and mean it. Talk to your mom on the phone and actually listen to her. When your clients express concerns, try to show an interest.

7) Smile--no seriously, smiling has been shown to trigger the release of endorphins. Sometimes, it's also just nice to smile at someone and have them smile back at you.

8) Do something nice for yourself--I see this a lot with women. They focus so much on others around them or on negative thoughts that they never do anything for themselves. If this means cooking your favorite meal, getting a manicure, or treating yourself to a haircut, DO IT.

9) Let things go--it's really easy to focus on your negative feelings or prior transgressions of others. Stop worrying about them--as Van Wilder said, it's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but you get NOWHERE. Seriously, just let them go. Move on. Stop giving other people power over you. It makes your life a lot easier to not have to keep track of who you are pissed off at, and those negative feelings really screw up your psyche.

10) Seek counseling--if you cannot shake your feelings of sadness or depression, do not be embarrassed to seek help. Having someone to talk to about these feelings helps a lot, and they may be able to prescribe you something that helps normalize the chemicals in your brain and get you feeling more like yourself, sans the cobwebs.

I realize I'm not certified in mental counseling. However, these have all been shown to help, and when I implemented them in my life, I felt significantly better. The ladies in my office are incredible, and you'd never know they're lawyers. They are happy with what they are doing, go home to their families and time with those they love, and LOVE their jobs. I'm going to leave with the last item on this list, which I think is the most important:

11) Pick a branch of the law you LOVE: time and time again, I hear of people that are pursuing something they hate because it pays well. Ultimately, you're going to be unsatisfied, and feel trapped, because you're used to that type of living. And you're going to be scared to be poor. Poor does not equate to unhappiness. Wealth certainly makes life easier, but it definitely doesn't make it more worth living. Keep this in mind, and choose carefully. Don't be afraid to start over. Don't be afraid to pursue something that's not traditional. Don't be afraid of other people's opinions. Be BRAVE. Be HAPPY. Live with purpose.

And live your life your way. You only get one chance.

Senin, 23 Mei 2011

Bucket lists FTW

Blog Creeper is an avid bucket-lister....she's already crossed off most of her bucket list items, which means she will have to either create an entirely NEW bucket list for the future, or kill herself due to having nothing new to look forward to. :P Maybe one of her bucket list items can be helping me figure out my bucket list, since I've never made one and have no idea where to start. You see, I'm a simple person. I like to sleep. I like to eat. I like to lay back and watch Netflix. But I also LOVE lists (I will go into that love later...)

So I need some suggestions for a bucket list. I've been thinking of some things, and here's what I have at the moment:

  1. Run for public office--notice this does not say "win" public office. I am a born loser, but it sure would be fun to run for it. Being appointed would just as good, though....
  2. Win a decent pot playing Texas Hold Em--I'm talking about using my mad theatrical skills while fluttering my eyelashes and cooing to others in a Southern accent while secretly swindling them out of their common sense and stakes...
  3. Vacation in Australia/New Zealand--I love me some hobbitses
  4.  Run a 27 minute 5K--I hate running. I like winning.
  5. Win a personal injury case--I do not plan on pursuing personal injury; that said, I'd like to win one case and collect a fat fee--refer to #2
  6. Write a novel--it can be shitty. I just want to write one. Why the hell not?? 
  7.  Get a pedicure--I figure some need to be short-term. I can't write a novel in the next week, now can I? Have I mentioned I like winning?
  8. Use my undergrad degree for my law practice at least once. I will not go into my undergrad degree. I will say a case that utilizes it would be interesting.
  9.  Get married. Because we all should get married at least once. ;)
  10. Argue in front of a Supreme Court. Doesn't have to be SCOTUS.
Any more suggestions??

Some people....

I went out this weekend with Leonidas, AC (our fabulously amazing gay friend--Danny actually coined this nickname for him, btw), and a couple of Leonidas' guy friends. Since we all know how I feel about going out (aka: I am an old woman and should be in bed by 10:30), suffice to say I needed a few shots to get started (I don't drink beer--I am adverse to potbellies on women).

While we were out, I met a few new people who were really nice. We talked (as much as you can when music is blaring over the speakers), I had shots purchased for me (which I am certainly also not adverse to), and I may have even gotten a business card for future commercial endeavors. And at the end of my night, when I was pleasantly buzzed, one of Leonidas' friends pissed.me.off. (Note: the people who I had just met were extremely nice and polite.)

What kind of guy thinks it is okay to touch a woman in such a way that makes her uncomfortable and slightly queasy?  ANSWER: the same kind of asshole that will hang out of a window and catcall to women who are walking back to their cars from the club. Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a loser winner.

Word of advice for you would-be handsy assholes out there that think it's okay to invade a woman's personal space: one of these days, you're going to get your balls cut off and handed to you. Or maybe someone won't be as nice as me and she'll throw them out of a moving car window. Either way, you'll be missing two of your prized possessions, but will have gained a valuable experience: to keep your fucking hands off girls, because let me assure you: NO MEANS NO (really, no joking).

Even more pathetic: if she's your friend's girlfriend. Yeah, that takes the assholishness to a completely different level. Even for you, you pathetic little parasite. And if your friend is too (ahem) nice to say anything, and I'm too uncomfortable to say anything, it doesn't mean it's okay to try it again.

If and when I ever go back out, and if this particular guy is there, and IF he endeavors to touch me at all.....

Y'all will probably have a much more entertaining story to read. Trust me. There are several satisfying options I can choose that will not land me in jail, although Leonidas might be a few friends short....

Jumat, 20 Mei 2011

From: Gary Makara
Subject: Re: Help me out lawyer....
Date: May 20, 2011 7:38:01 AM PDT

PART 2
Thank you for your response to my mail, here are more information's regarding this matter. Below is the information of the borrower. And I know I will pay you a retainer for the job. I found you at mertindale.com website. And after reading your profile, I was very comfortable that you are the best Lawyer I needed that can help me with my matter at hand. See the attached file for the agreement note.

BORROWER NAME: Person's Name Here
ADDRESS: 3810 4th Avenue
Seattle, WA 98134

The Borrower is someone I have known for 12 years and we have done business in the past without any issues. He is into HEAVY DUTY EQUIPMENT RETAILS AND SALES. So, am I too? And he was the one that have introduced me into this very line of business 11yrs ago.
Like I stated in my previous email, Mr. Harrison owes me $175,000. I loaned him 260,000. And he has only paid me back $85,000 and the balance is still outstanding till this day. I am in constant contact with him and even though he has promised to pay the balance, I think the threat or possibility of litigation would serve as a catalyst to make him pay sooner rather than later. Find attached a PDF version of the Loan agreement Promissory note
I am prepared to pay your retainer fee for this service as soon as I get an engagement letter from your firm. I expect this to be a non-litigation collection from the borrower but I am prepared to litigate this matter if he is not ready to pay the balance owed on the loan agreement. Note that this loan is not in dispute
Send me the engagement letter so that we can proceed with this issue with him. I want to also let you know that as an owner of a business, this loan that I gave to Jason (Who I know very well) has caused considerable strain on my operation capital.
I can be reached at 1-647-772-6626 anytime. Time is of the essence for me now.
Sir, let me know how much your retainer will be for I am ready to retain your firm to help me with this very issues of mine.
Please send me your retainer agreement or engagement letter at your earliest convenience.
I am open to either an hourly or contingency fee basis. Please advice which works better for you.

Best Regards,

MR. GARY MAKARA
COOPER CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT RENTALS AND SALES LTD
300 SIDNEY AVE
WINDSOR, ONT. M8N 2M2
Direct Line: 1-647 772-6626
Office: 1-905-781-6341

PART 1
Dear counsel,

I am contacting you in regards to a breach of business loan agreement with a client in your locality. I provided a loan to the company so that they can meet up with their management and operational obligation during the rough economic climate of last year. I provided the company with an emergency loan of $260,000 with a term of 24 months and fixed interest rate of 6.0%. The repayment period has since elapsed but the company has been unable to finalize the repayment of the loan and have only paid $85,000.00 till date. Let me know if this falls under the scope of your practice so that I can provide you with more information on this matter.

Best Regards
Gary Makara
Email: gary.makara@blumail.org
Tel: 647-772-6626

Are You Ready for the Zombie Apocalypse Tomorrow?

 For those of you who haven't heard the news, Christian radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio Harold Camping has used complex biblical numerology to determine that the rapture is tomorrow.  I am a little off topic here, but I figure since, according to Camping, most of us will be ghosts in the next few months it is a more ghostly topic than most may think. Thousands of Campings followers have sold all their worldly possessions and abadoned their families to prepare for the end of times.   According to Camping,  only 200,000 people will be raptured tomorrow.  Only the most loyal will be taken to heaven.  As for the rest of us, he is pretty specific in what we can expect.  We will all have to survive hell on earth until October 21st when the world will end.   In the New York Times Camping said:

"When the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."

What is the next horrible thing, you may ask?  Many believe it will be zombies.  The CDC issued an alert (CDC officials claimed in the New York Times it was only to draw attention to their hurricane preparedness plan, but I think they know the zombies are coming) on their blog.   The CDC blog is titled Zombie Preparedness 101.   http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp  .  The CDC isn't alone.  I found this sign on The Frog Queen's blog:   http://strangelittlegirlblog.blogspot.com/


So, in order to help all my readers prepare for the zombies that will probably start flooding our streets on Sunday, I have taken some tips from The Zombie Survival Guide, the CDC, and from my fading zombie blog to help you put off becoming a ghost and survive Sunday's zombie hoard.   Of course, Camping could be wrong.   He was wrong when he predicted the end in 1994, but it is better to be safe than sorry with these types of things.  

1. Always have a pack prepared with all the supplies you need in case you have to run.  Don't forget food, water, water purification supplies, lots of ammo, and blunt objects.  The CDC recommends you have the following items in your emergency preparedness kit:
•Water (1 gallon per person per day)

•Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
•Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
•Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
•Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
•Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
•Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
•First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)


2.  Always use bludgeoning tools before guns when possible when facing a zombie.  Ammo will run out quickly and you'll never run out of bullets with an axe.

3. Avoid cities and towns.   When the people start dying, urban areas will be flooded with zombies. Find someplace remote where people didn't go much in life.

4.  Travel on foot when possible.  Roads will become backed up and traffic accidents and fires will draw the zombie hoard.   Walk quietly in the woods and avoid notice.

5.  Drink Trappist Ales.  I hear they repel zombies and they'll dull the pain if you are eaten alive.  I know I want to be drunk if I'm going to be disemboweled.



I hope all of you have a happy rapture day tomorrow and survive the zombie hoard on Sunday!  You know, I just realized my advice was go into the woods with guns and weapons and drink lots of beer.  Keeping that in mind, make sure people are dead before you shoot them or hit them.  Enjoy!

Kamis, 19 Mei 2011

Zainab Lawyer

Dear Counsel,

Good day to you and thank you for your response to my inquiry. The previous email I sent you contacting your firm was regards to a post dissolution case with my ex husband Newberg Hamasaki who resides in your jurisdiction. Currently am living in South Korea for a field assignment (working on my thesis). I tried calling a couple of times but couldn’t get you as I have poor connection were I am based, and with the time difference (+13hrs EST) it is a little bit difficult to gauge the best time to reach you. I would appreciate if you can provide your cell number for effective communication. My ex husband and I agreed under this agreement for a one time cash settlement of $950,500.00, to his credit he has paid me $251,500.00 but still owing $699,000.00. I agreed to the terms of the agreement which is well within what Newberg can pay conveniently because I didn’t want the troubles of a long trial and so that we could part ways in the best way for all it was worth.


I am hereby seeking your firm’s assistance in collecting the balance from him and it is my belief that a Law firm like yours is needed to help me collect/enforce payment from my ex-husband or litigate this matter if he fails to pay as promised. He is aware of my intention to seek legal actions. I will be pleased to provide further information on this matter on request. I expect this to be a non-litigation matter. I have already advised him I am planning on retaining your firm. If you are happy to proceed, kindly send me a copy of your retainer and if the terms are acceptable I will sign so we can commence the process without delay

Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Regards,

Zainab Hamasaki
Address: 2F, Sekwang Bldg, 364 Galsan-dong, Seondong-Gu, Seoul 133-040
Cell- 0082-31-656 7883
+82-2-757-3969