Get the gopher wood...

Because IT'S FLOODING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

My dog doesn't understand it. She wants to pee. Then she goes outside, looks around, and decides to hold it. Which results in me having to drag my ass out of bed at 4:00 in.the.MORNING. to take her outside to relieve herself. The incessant whining is driving me crazy, too. It's like she comes back in and immediately forgets that it's a river outside, so she has to be re-reminded. Every thirty minutes.

It's so bad outside that school was canceled after 3:30 p.m. today. This is significant because earlier in the semester, school was canceled due to snow (and ice and general crappiness, but we'll leave it at snow). This means that every thirty seconds, I'm re-reminded by our school's "oh shit" alert system that something bad is happening. This generally goes something like this:

*pop* --> New email:  "OH SHIT! The university is closing due to inclement weather. All people shall board the buses two by two.
*ring*-->Phone call: "The OH SHIT alert system has issued an inclement weather alert. Classes are canceled for the day. Please grab your paddle and prepare to kayak your way home."
*buzz*-->Text message: "OH SHIT alert system: Classes canceled. B safe. Don't drown. C-ya 2morrow."

I literally get an email, a phone call, and a text message. How's that for overkill? At least I'll know if some law student finally comes unscrewed and takes a potato launcher to his biz org class...