First time in court....

Yesterday was my first hearing before a court since becoming a lawyer.

I represented juveniles while in law school, wrote briefs on behalf of clients for immigration clinic, and also participated in Innocence Project. I told myself that juvenile court was a lot worse, because at least dom rel orders are modifiable.

I mean, it has to be easier, right? RIGHT? (Right.)

So we get to the court yesterday morning all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Wait for a couple of adoptions to go through. Then we go into the courtroom. First thing that struck me was there were no tables for plaintiff and defendant. Rather, they were pushed TOGETHER, so they would literally be staring each other in the eye.

So I turn to opposing counsel and ask if we can rearrange the furniture so that the benches are not pushed together. His reaction was something like this:

It proved to be fruitless anyway, because the judge hadn't taken TWO steps into the courtroom before stopping dead in his tracks and announcing that he couldn't hear the case because of a conflict. Apparently 4 out of the 5 judges in town have conflicts with opposing party in this case. The 5th is at Disney World. (Lucky duck.)

My almost-favorite part was when opposing counsel turned to his client and asked if the judge had represented him before (after the judge told him he had served as an ad litem attorney for his case). I looked at him exactly like he had looked at me....then slowly explained to both of them that attorneys ad litem represent CHILDREN (and the incapacitated which, given their sterling presence in the courtroom, maybe I can now see the rationale of asking him that question).

I say almost-favorite part because something even better happened. After all the conflicts were laid out before the court (and let me tell you, defendant is a WINNER), the bailiff looked at him, narrowed his eyes, and said "Oh yeah....I remember you now."

I NEED POPCORN. 

Can't wait til next week. I'm past the want-to-vomit stage and have moved into the realm of Jerry Springer court in which I have settled into the whatever-the fuck-craziness-is-going-to-pop-up-is-gonna-happen-and-I-might-as-well-enjoy-it stage. CHEERS.